Friday, February 06, 2004

Friday Night and Again, I Have No Life . . .

Like, this is news?

We're trapped, I tell ya. The snow. The ice. The slush. Have I mentioned how much I hate winter? Well, I hate it when I have to actually go out in it. If I could stay home, work at home only, and have all my food and laundry brought in, then maybe I'd like winter a little better. But since I don't see that happening until hell freez...

Never mind. Bad analogy.

I have a book order on the way from Amazon (again). This time I ordered the novel BIG FISH, as well as the new Merriam-Webster's dictionary that just came out a few months ago. I love when packages are on their way to me. It's extremely exciting, even if one of the books is a dictionary. Yes, I get excited about the pending arrival of a dictionary.

Well, but, it's a hardcover dictionary. I mean, I'm not a total loser.

Wednesday, February 04, 2004

The Meaning of Life

Man, you people are gullible. You probably saw this title and zoomed your eyes in here, thinking, "Finally! I have found the meaning of life! O me of little faith! It is here!"

Yeah, right. Whatever. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

Although yes, I do know the meaning of life, this really isn't the place to tell you. That's a little too serious for the likes of this place. Let's find other things to discuss for now. Like, ummm, well, let's finish up the last entry on the ear plugs.

I thought of something I should have mentioned in the last blog. When I had the ear plugs in and I talked to Wayne in bed, when he answered me (knowing I couldn't hear him), he sounded a lot like Charlie Brown's mom. You know: "Wah-wah-wah-wah-waahhhhhh..."

Well, okay, fair enough. So he sounds like that all the time....

Did I mention that I finished my book?

No, not the one I was reading ... the one I was writing. The Novel That Would Not Die finally bit the dust and gave up the ghost and died a horrible death and ... oops got carried away there, sorry. The point is that the blasted thing is essentially done. I gave myself a deadline of February 1 (in order to enter it in a contest), knowing that I'm a sucker for a deadline. Make something a part-time project or hobby and I'll never get it done. Give me a drop-down deadline and I'm there. I'm all over it like glue. It's all good. I take to it like a duck to ...

You get the idea.

Granted, the thing isn't as long as I'd like, and I could stand to flesh out a few chapters/scenes a little. And I may still do that while the contest has it as an entry (till July). I can't submit it anywhere else while it's under consideration for the contest, so I might as well tweak it a little more, add to it, and get it ready for a real submission by summertime. I don't expect to win, but I wouldn't mind using this down-time to start new projects and flesh out this one a little.

Start new projects. Now there's a weird concept. Aside from humor essays and the occasional pointless drivel of a blog entry, I haven't started a new "project" since sometime in the fall of 1989.

Good grief. This book is older than two of my kids. And all my kids have ages with double-digits.

I think I automatically win the procrastination prize for 2004. However, due to circumstances beyond the control of the awarding committee, the prize won't be handed out till 2013.


Can't you guys just envision reading an entire NOVEL of crap like this? I mean, the mind reels with possibilities, doesn't it? Or is that just motion sickness? Actually, as I sat in front of the computer screen hoping to start The New Project, I stared at the screen for a long time, watching the screen get blanker and blanker. Every time I started to type a word, I realized the new story idea I had was going to include every single character from the other novel. This can't be good.

To write in this blog effectively in the future, it just occurred to me that I'm going to have to get out my thesaurus and look up synonyms for "pointless" and "boring."

Until then, I'll try harder to write in here more often. I was chastised today about not writing in here very often by an old friend. (And boy, do I mean OLD. You should see this guy.) So now I hope he's happy. I mean, I did what he asked, right? (Well, except for calling him old.)

Back to life. More later. C-ya. Ciao. TTFN. Yada yada yada....